


One Mississippi, Two Mississippi

by bean_spr0ut (sm0l_fedora)



Category: The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee - Finn/Sheinkin/Reiss
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, everythings platonic, guess we'll just see how it goes :/, idk i do have further ideas, it's more likely than you think, making leaf coneybear cry in all my fanfics?, maybe a oneshot?, no romance here, no sir, platonic leafgainne
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22247500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sm0l_fedora/pseuds/bean_spr0ut
Summary: Leaf Coneybear has a little problem. Logainne Schwartzandgrubenierre can help.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 18





	1. T-h-u-n-d-e-r-s-t-o-r-m

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I have not posted a fanfic in a LONG time.  
> Hello! If you're new here, my name's Chloe, and I played Leaf Coneybear in my school's production of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee! That's where I got into the fandom, and that's why I'm starting to write fanfic for it! (If you haven't seen it, please do, the bootleg from Brown University is the best one).  
> However, if you're not new, and you knew me from my Fall Out Boy days, I'm really sorry, but I think I've moved on for the most part. My Wattpad's still up (same username), and all my old Fall Out Boy fics are still published. But I'm not going to continue them, and I don't think I'll be writing any more.  
> I hope you all understand where I'm heading next, and I really hope you'll join me for the ride!  
> -Chloe

Anyone who has come in contact with Leaf Coneybear for more than 5 minutes could probably tell you that he was a _weird kid._ He ran around with a bike helmet and a cape attached to him, he practically lived on apple juice and gummy worms, and he just wouldn't shut up about how he was raised by the wolves (his house was situated near the woods in Putnam County, so seeing wolves was not an uncommon occurrence). He didn't mind being thought of that way. In fact, he quite enjoyed it. It made him memorable, so people wouldn't easily forget about him. 

But these eccentric qualities got in the way at times, mostly because of how "old" he would act. The thing people would say to him most was that he needed to "grow up", and "start acting his age". He didn't understand what was so wrong about being a bit more carefree than other kids, or why he had to be in such a hurry to start acting like an adult. Physically he was 12, but mentally he was around 8 or 9, and he didn't see anything wrong with that. 

But sometimes, when things got really bad, he'd start to feel a lot younger than that. It was usually when he found himself in really stressful situations. Things like loud noises, big crowds, and scary experiences sent him spiralling into overstimulation. He would feel like the world was rapidly growing all around him, everything towering over him like he was 5 inches tall. His fight or flight response would kick in, shutting down all reasoning and leaving him paralyzed. He would want to curl up into a ball, suck his thumb, and just wait it out until everything went away. It wouldn't normally get that bad, but sometimes it just happened, especially with things like arguing and scary movies. And thunderstorms. He hated thunderstorms.

Leaf had made a lot of new friends at the Putnam County spelling bee. He felt like he connected with all the kids he met there, but especially Logainne Schwartzandgrubenierre. They were practically inseparable since the moment they met, and stayed the best of friends well after the bee. They would hang out almost every day, and you could say that Leaf was basically living at Logainne's, with how much he would sleep over at her house. It was a nice break from being around six siblings all the time, and Logainne's moms were always so nice and welcoming towards him. 

It was a chilly April night. The sun had been blocked out by clouds the whole day, and a gentle rain had been steady for most of it. But as the night dragged on, the rain got heavier and the clouds got darker. Soon enough a loud _crack_ could be heard throughout the neighborhood. 

Leaf awoke with a start. His shaky breath could barely be heard over the howling wind outside. He bit his lip, frantically taking in his surroundings. He was in Logainne's room, in a sleeping bag, under 5 different layers of covers (he got cold very easily, and he needed something weighted on him to sleep). 

Being in this familiar environment somewhat put him at ease, but his relief was replaced with fear as a bright flash of lightning, which lit up the whole room, was followed by another loud crack of thunder. He dove under the covers, shutting his eyes as tight as they could go. His body was shaking now, and the tears were getting choked up in his throat. It was happening again, he was getting smaller and smaller.

A third crack came, this one almost deafening. He couldn’t help but release soft sobs, trying his hardest not to wake Logainne. 

It didn’t work, however, as the fourth wave of thunder came. It was the last straw, forcing Leaf to let it all out and sob quite loudly. This, consequently, woke Logainne from a very deep sleep. 

“Wha- Leaf?” She mumbled, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, but quickly perked up once she realized he was crying. 

“What’s going on? Are you okay?!” She asked, concern prominent in her voice. She rushed to him, clambering off her bed and kneeling down to his sleeping bag. 

“I-It’s the thunder.” She heard him murmur from under the covers. 

“Oh, you’re scared of the thunder, huh?” She repeated in an understanding tone. She gently gripped the covers and pulled them back, revealing a wide, teary eyed, thumb sucking Leaf. “Hey, it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.” She assured, softly stroking his back over the covers.

Another loud crash came from outside. Leaf squeaked, yanking the covers back over himself and burrowing further into his blanket pile.

“Leaf, hey, come on up to the bed with me, it’s okay.” Logainne suggested, not wanting him to be alone. A quiet “Mm-mm.” came from the covers. She sighed, taking the hint. “Can I at least come under there and hold you?”

Leaf took a minute to think about it, but soon he let out a positive “Mhmm.”, because frankly, he didn’t want to be alone either.

Logainne smiled, gently lifting the covers and climbing underneath, immediately moving closer to be with Leaf. “Come here.” She said, pulling him into a hug. Leaf fell into the embrace, gripping tight to her pajamas as if he was holding on for dear life.

“Ya know, there’s a way to tell if a storm is getting closer or further away.” Logainne said as she continued to stroke his back.

“Yeah?” He sniffed, starting to calm down a little. But he just got all riled up again as another loud crash was heard. More sobs came out, and he buried his face in the crook of Logainne’s neck.

“Yeah.” She continued, staying level headed. “You know how there’s a flash of light before every clap of thunder?” 

Leaf nodded his head. It seemed to get worse and worse at each loud clap, and now he could barely register his own thoughts. He just wanted it to be over.

“Well, if you count the seconds in between seeing the lightning and hearing the thunder, you can tell how close the storm is. If the seconds are getting longer, it's getting further away.” She finished explaining, rocking Leaf back and forth gently. “We’ll count on one-mississippi, two-mississippi, k?”

Leaf nodded his head reluctantly, dreading having to open his eyes.

“Here, let’s watch for the flash.” She suggested, peeling the covers back only so far to get a glimpse into the room. Soon enough the entire room lit up for a second, and Logainne pulled the covers back over them. “Okay, we’re gonna count now.” She stated, making sure to keep eye contact with Leaf. “One-mississippi, two-mississippi…”

“Three-mississippi, four-mississippi-” Leaf joined in, but was cut off as the loudest crash of thunder came yet. He shut his eyes and latched harder onto Logainne, who held him back as tight as she could. 

“It’s okay, you’re doing great.” She reassured. “Let’s see if we can catch another flash, k?”

Leaf nodded, still shaking a bit. He and Logainne peeked over the covers again, and dove right back under them once the flash came.

“One-mississippi, two-mississippi, three-mississippi, four-mississippi, five-mississippi-” They chanted in unison, getting cut off one second later than before. “See? Four versus five, it’s getting better, it’s going away.” She continued to trace circles on the small of Leaf’s back.

He nodded along, drinking in the comfort Logainne’s voice gave to him. He was still sucking his thumb, but he could no longer feel himself vibrating. Even as they witnessed another flash, just being in Logainne’s company started to make him feel kind of alright.

It stayed like that for a while. A white hot flash would light up the room, they’d start to count the seconds, and a clap of thunder would interrupt them. Leaf would tense up every time, but Logainne always managed to ground him and bring him back to reality.

It seemed like forever, but after awhile the flashes stopped, along with the loud crashes. The rain was still pelting down, though much more gently than before. 

“See, it’s all gone now. It’s over, we’re okay.” Logainne comforted, seeing Leaf’s wide, glassy eyes through the darkness. Leaf nodded, relief suddenly washing over him. It was a warm, welcoming feeling. 

“And yah know, I betcha it’s all gonna clear up tomorrow and there’s not gonna be a single cloud in the sky.” She stated, trying to get him to smile.

“But I want there to be clouds in the sky.” Leaf pouted, his speech becoming more slurred. 

“Well then, there’s probably gonna be one or two clouds that stayed behind, just for you.” She booped his nose, grinning from ear to ear as she heard Leaf break out into a giggle. Even though it was pitch black, Leaf’s smile seemed to light up the whole room. 

He pulled her into another embrace. “Thank you, thank you so much Logainne.” He sniffed, still stuffed up from the crying before. 

“Of course!” She responded. “That’s what best friends are for, right?”

He nodded. “I’m sorry I’m such a crybaby.” He giggled sadly, almost putting his thumb back in his mouth, but stopping himself before he could do so. Logainne noticed this and gently grabbed his hand.

“Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize for that.” She consoled. “Yah know, a lot of adults cry.”

“Really?” He sniffed

“Yeah, all the time! One time Carla mom broke down in front of me because her work got her so stressed out.”

Leaf thought about it for a moment. The idea of adults crying was certainly new to him, as neither his mom or his dad really showed him any emotions other than, well, disappointment as of late. He wasn’t sure if this new information made him feel better or worse.

“Yah know, I bet the president cries.” Logainne stated with a smirk on her face. “I bet he sits in his stupid chair in the stupid white house, and cries over how much of a big jerk-face he is!”

That made Leaf break out into laughter once again. She smiled, starting to laugh with him. His laugh was so contagious, it crept up on you and held you tight and never let you go. 

He didn’t necessarily understand all of Logainne’s political antics, but seeing her being so passionate about something she cared about made him unbelievably happy.

“Logainne,” He started, not exactly sure how to word it.

“Yeah, Leaf?”

“I feel, really small.”

Logainne’s brows furrowed. Something about that statement didn’t seem to be clicking. “Small? Like, size-wise? In what context?”

“No, I just-” He hesitated. He’d never told anyone about this particular tick before, and he wasn’t even sure what it was. How was he going to word this to someone who was like, 5 times his grade level?

“I feel, young.” He finally stated, putting a finalizing emphasis on the last word that made him feel satisfied. 

Logainne, however, was still a bit confused. “How young?” She asked hesitantly, picking up that this was a very sensitive subject for Leaf.

He thought for a bit, biting his lip. It was hard to pinpoint an exact age, but by how long the thunderstorm lasted, and how violent it was, he couldn’t have been older than 3. He held up 3 fingers, hiding his face in the pillows.

“Oh. Oh, Leaf...” Logainne sighed. It wasn’t an angry sigh, or a disappointed sigh, it was a concerned sigh. She had no idea what this meant. “I-Is this a good, or a bad thing?” She asked, trying her best to be gentle about getting answers.

“I don’t know, it happens when I get really scared.” He explained. It’s not exactly how he said it, since his speech was becoming more slurred, but that’s how Logainne translated it in her head.

“Well, does it help you feel not so scared?” She asked. She didn’t usually like talking down to him, mostly because she felt it was disrespectful and he was a lot smarter than a lot of people gave him credit for. But she suspected that she’d have to keep things simple for him now, at least in this context.

Leaf was unsure, but nodded his head anyway. “Helps it go away.” He murmured. He moved to put his thumb back in his mouth again, out of habit, but stopped himself again. 

Logainne sighed, gently taking his hand. “If it helps you feel better, then it helps you feel better. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“But it’s weird!” He protested, getting himself worked up again

“Leaf, all of us are weird! My two dads are weird. Olive’s obsession with the dictionary is weird. Barfee’s magic foot is weird. Marcy being crazy good at everything she does is weird. Chip’s boner was DEFINITELY weird-”

Leaf broke into a fit of laughter at that. His whole aura was so warm, and happy, and kind. He’d walk in and the whole area would light up, leaving trails of comfort behind him. He was like a literal walking ray of sunshine. It hurt to see him hurting like this, which made the fact that she could make him laugh that much more special.

“But see? We’re ALL a little weird, it’s what makes us special. Can you even imagine what a world where no one was weird would be like? If we were all the same? Like, how boring would that be?” She finished, looking at him earnestly. “So, if being, younger, helps you feel better, then you should feel comfortable doing it.”

“But, but my family always says to ‘grow up’, and start ‘acting my age’. I don’t even know what that means.” He whined, starting to feel choked up again.

“Leaf, can I tell you something?”

“Yeah?”

“Your family kinda sucks.” She stated, very matter-of-factly. “I mean, your siblings REALLY suck, but your parents kinda suck too.”

“No they don’t! They don’t mean it! They just…” He trailed off, running out of excuses to give them. He didn’t like to admit to himself how badly they really mistreated him. He wasn’t sure if it was just because he was tired or not, but it was getting harder and harder to lie to himself. The tears started to fall again, and he buried his face back into the pillows.

“Hey, come on, I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Logainne sighed, starting to stroke his back again. She peeled back the covers to take a look at her alarm clock at the head of her bed. It read _11:42 pm._ “Look, let’s talk about this in the morning, okay? It’s almost midnight, you need your rest.”

Leaf sniffled, getting composure of himself. He nodded, finally allowing himself to put his thumb back in his mouth. His breathing became slower as his eyes fluttered closed. 

Logainne smiled, melting at his cuteness. “Come on, let’s get you off the floor.” She said, gently shaking him before moving to get up. He gave her a negative “hmph” in response, pulling her back down to the floor with him.

“Come on, I don’t want you sleeping on the floor! It’s alright to come out now, the storm’s over.”

He didn’t respond, hoping that if he ignored her she would drop it and sleep there with him. She sighed. “Can I at least carry you?”

“Can you?” he murmured, opening one eye.

“I can try.” She pulled back the covers, put one arm around his back, and the other under his legs, and hoisted him up, carrying him to the bed and laying him down gently. She pulled the new covers over both of them, making sure Leaf was nice and warm and comfortable.

“You okay?” She checked in, able to get a clearer shot of his face. He seemed to be a lot calmer now, struggling to keep his eyes open and his breathing evening out. He nodded, his head sinking into the pillow. 

She smiled. “Night Leaf.”

“Ni’ Logainne, love you.” He murmured as he draped an arm over her, finally falling asleep with his thumb still in his mouth.

Logainne’s heart melted. She moved forward and their foreheads touched. “Love you too.” She whispered, before slowly drifting off to sleep herself.


	2. R-e-s-e-a-r-c-h

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logainne does some digging, and comes to a clever decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this fic is technically a gift for a friend, so I've been making references to our particular production throughout the work, the biggest being Logainne's dads are actually moms (I went back to the first chapter and changed it to that). I was originally going to edit them out, but I'm probably gonna get too lazy to do that, and I thought it might be fun for you guys to get some insight on what our production was like! Hope you all don't mind!

Leaf’s eyes fluttered open, being awoken by Logainne softly snoring beside him. Startled, he slid off the bed and fell to the floor with a _thud._ Logainne immediately woke up at this, and peered down worriedly at him. "Leaf!"

“I fell.” He giggled, a sunny smile spread across his face. She smiled as well, rolling her eyes as she lent out her hand. He quickly grabbed it and hoisted himself up.

He was about to run downstairs, eager for food, but Logainne stopped him. “Look,” she said, pulling him to the window and peeling back the curtains. The sky was a bright blue, only a few specks of white clouds dotting the sky. “See? They stayed behind, just for you.”

That made Leaf’s ear to ear smile impossibly wider. “Yeah, they did!”

“Come on, let’s go get breakfast.” Logainne suggested, still gripping his hand as she made her way to the door.

“Race yah!” He exclaimed, breaking free of her hand and making a full head start for the door and down the stairs.

“Bet!” She laughed, following closely behind him.

They charged down the stairs, making as much noise as the thunderstorm had last night. In the end it was Logainne who came out on top, reaching the kitchen ahead of Leaf by a hair.

“Woah, slow down you two.” Carla mom lightly scolded as she finished setting up the table. Logainne just beamed triumphantly, taking a seat across from Leaf.

“Now, what’s the grand prize for winning this race?” Danielle mom chuckled from the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on their breakfast.

Logainne hummed, thinking for a minute. “Maybe, an extra pancake?”

“Hey!” Leaf shouted. “That’s not fair!”

“I’m just kidding Leaf! I’ll just get bragging rights.”

His eyes widened as he pouted. He playfully stuck out his tongue, and Logainne stuck out hers in response. They cracked up, giggling to each other as Danielle served breakfast.

Leaf dug in immediately, scarfing down his food and barely taking any time to chew. Carla furrowed her brows in concern, “Jesus, Leaf, do they feed you at home?”  
“Oh, yeah, I’m just hungry.” He smiled, cheeks stuffed.

The two kids spent the rest of breakfast chatting about nothing in particular, when Leaf’s phone started buzzing from the coffee table. He quickly retrieved it, letting out a sigh as he saw who the sender was. “My parents are here.” He said, disappointed.

Logainne smiled bittersweetly. “Well, come on, I’ll help you pack up.”

They marched back up the stairs to Logainne’s room. They got dressed, and Leaf started to gather all his belongings back into his suitcase, with Logainne helping keep track of everything.  
“Pajamas?” She asked.

“Check.” Leaf answered

“Dirty clothes?”

“Check.”

“Toothbrush and toothpaste?”

“Checkaroonie.”

“Sleeping bag?”

“Checkers. Checkers! Get it? Like the board game? Heh, heh.” Leaf chuckled awkwardly to himself.

He finished packing up with a ‘zip’ of the zipper. He tied his pride flag cape around his neck (although he didn’t know it was a pride flag, he just liked the pretty colors), and was about to make for the door when Logainne cleared her throat.

“My helmet!” Leaf squeaked when he turned around and saw what she was dangling in front of him. He grabbed the sticker-ridden, cat eared bicycle helmet and placed it on his head, clicking the straps closed.

“Thanks Logainne.” He said with a smile as he hugged his best friend. She hugged back immediately, smiling to herself as well. “Let’s go.” She said. “We don’t want to keep your parents waiting too long.”

His parents’ car was parked on the street. He could see their expectant expressions from the house. Sighing, he gave Logainne one last hug. “Thank you, by the way, for last night.” He whispered with a bittersweet smile.

“Of course, that’s what friends are for.”

And with that, Leaf piled into his car, and gave one last wave as his dad started the engine and drove off. “Leaf, what did we say about helmets in the car?” He scolded, gazing at him sternly through the rearview mirror.

“Sorry.” Leaf murmured as he took off his helmet and placed it on the seat beside him, admiring all the pretty stickers he placed on it when he bought it.

Back at the house, Logainne and her moms stood for a minute after waving him goodbye. “Leaf’s a really good kid.” Carla commented with a smile. “Yeah, he is.” Logainne responded, realizing she had a lot of work to do.

She bit her lip, going back inside the house and rushing to the family computer. She pulled up an incognito tab, and sat back, thinking for a moment. There had to be some sort of technical term for what Leaf had been experiencing. He surely couldn’t be the only person in the world who had that reaction when stressed. She just had to find the right words for it.

She thought that the best way to start off her search had to be simple. She leaned into the desk, fingers furiously typing at the keyboard.

 _Common reactions to stress_ she typed out, scanning through the various articles and websites that popped up. She clicked on as many links that she thought were reliable, but nothing mentioned anything about a younger headspace.

 _Uncommon reactions to stress_ she tried, but her efforts ended in the same results. She huffed, refusing to give up. She realized she would have to get a bit more specific.

 _Becoming younger when stressed_ only yielded articles about the correlation of physical age and stress.

 _Younger headspaces_ ended up with videos about an organization called Headspace.

She tried, and tried, and tried again. She thought of every keyword, every technical term, every wording. Each article and website led her practically nowhere. She sighed, rubbing her temples. It seemed almost hopeless.

Then, as if by some divine intervention, a term popped up that caught her attention; _age regression._

She thought long and hard about it. Regression meant a return to a former or less developed state. Age regression could only mean a return to a former or less developed age.

Her smile grew wide, and her fingers glided across the keyboard as she typed in the words. She scolded herself for not thinking of it sooner.

As she read the definition on the screen, she swung her swivel chair over to a drawer in the desk. She rummaged around until she found what she was looking for; an empty notebook and a pencil.

She clicked the link, quickly jotting the words down and staring a bullet pointed list. As she continued to scroll down and read more of the article, she realized that she stumbled into an entirely new world of information, and she absolutely loved it.

It continued like this for a while. She’d scroll through an article, write down all the notes she could, and move on to the next. At some point the articles began to run out, but looking at the comments uncovered an entire community. She smirked. This was just the tip of the iceberg.

After a few hours, Carla popped in to check on her, gently knocking on the door before opening it. “You doing okay sweetie?”

“Yeah, just doing some research.” She said, not looking up from the computer screen.

“Oh, for school?”

“Oh, no, this is just my own little side project.”

Carla narrowed her eyes. “And what’s it about?”

Logainne opened her mouth, but no words came out. _Shit!_

“Uh, well, I read that Trump just repealed the Clean Water Act, so I thought that writing about the negative effects this will have on our oceans, along with global warming, could be a really good essay to send to our local governors." She smiled, feigning nonchalance.

“Oh, okay, I’ll leave you to it then.” Carla said as she closed the door, smiling to herself with pride. Her daughter was destined for great things, she just knew it.

Logainne breathed a sigh of relief, thanking whatever god was up there that she was really damn good at lying through her teeth.

She went straight back to work, having to be reminded to take meal and water breaks by either Carla or Danielle. Once she was out of articles, she took to online communities, jotting down people’s experiences and making sure to ask as many questions as she could.

She didn’t stop until her tired eyes drifted over to the clock; _9:37,_ way past her bedtime. She sighed, turning off the computer and getting ready for bed. It was a Sunday, so Leaf would have to come over after she got out of school. She bit her lip, unsure if she could wait that long.

The next day seemed to drag on and on. Each minute felt like hours, and each hour felt like days. Her leg seemed to be bouncing even when she was standing up.

As soon as she got home she dialed Leaf’s number. His mother was slightly hesitant, as he was still working on some assignments, but let him go when Logainne insisted it was urgent.

Even though he lived around 15 minutes away, it seemed to take him hours and hours to get there. Logainne tried to steady her breathing as she got all her notes together, but she was only relieved when she heard a familiar knock at the door.

“So what’s up?” Leaf inquired as he sat on her bed, taking off his helmet.

“Well, I’ve been doing a lot of research, and-”

“Research?” Leaf interrupted, cocking an eyebrow.

“Yeah, about your reaction to stress. Yah know, becoming mentally younger?”

“Oh! That?” Leaf was confused. He didn’t think anything of it, he just thought it was his own little quirk. Why would Logainne want to do any research?

“Yeah! I had a feeling you weren’t the only one in the world going through something like this, so I did some research, as I said, and I found out about age regression.” She stated with a smile as she plopped her open notebook down in front of them.

“Age re-what?”

“Age regression.” She repeated. She pointed her finger to the first bullet point, clearing her throat. _“Age regression is when somebody reverts to a child-like state of mind, often as a coping mechanism for things like PTSD, depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.”_ She read aloud. “Isn’t that what you do, Leaf?”

“I mean, yeah, I guess.”

“See? I’ve been doing a lot of digging and I found this whole community side to things, it’s not just scientific. I’ve talked with a lot of people, and everyone seems so nice and welcoming. I have found that some people use this as a power play thing? And I didn’t even want to get into THAT…”

Leaf tuned out after a while, Logainne’s ranting fading away. All he could think about was the _community_ thing. “Wait, there’s other people like me?” He asked, eyes widening with excitement.

“Yeah, of course.” She smiled. Leaf smiled back, it was a big toothy grin. His head started racing of all the possibilities this brought him. Maybe, maybe he wasn’t alone after all.

"And it's called age regression?" He said the last word slowly and clearly, wanting to get it right.

"Yep! It's also called littlespace."

"Littlespace." He repeated, grinning. There was finally a word for it, and it felt just right.

“Now, I have written up a shopping list.” She flipped through her notebook and ripped out a page, skimming through the writing.

“Shopping list?” Leaf echoed, becoming confused all over again.

“Yeah, well, a lot of age regressors use actual baby items to help them regress, so I thought we could go to like, the dollar tree or something.” She stated as she started rummaging through her drawers, pulling out a grungy looking bill from one of them. “I have ten dollars!”

“Oh, no, Logainne, you don’t have to-”

“But I want to! Come on.” She held out her hand for him to take.

He hesitated. “I don’t know, I just don’t want you going out of your way for me. I don’t want to be a burden.”

Logainne chuckled, “Leaf, you’re not a burden! I wouldn’t be doing this for you if you were.” She sighed, “If you really don’t want to do this, we don’t have to, but just know that you’re not forcing me to do this. I’m really trying to help you.”

Leaf bit his lip. He didn’t like asking for things, especially since his parents were always so busy with their other children. He never had anything for himself before. But he thought, since it was Logainne, who’s been helping him through so many things, why the hell not.

He took her hand with that same toothy grin. She shoved the ten dollars in her pocket and they began marching to the store, on the grandest adventure Leaf had ever been on yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter didn't have a lot of regression stuff. Gotta put exposition in there somewhere. Hopefully the next chapter will have a lot more tho lmao. Glad everyone's enjoying it!


	3. S-h-o-p-p-i-n-g

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leaf and Logainne pick up a few essentials at the dollar store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah I wanted to get this out earlier but school's kicking my butt! Again, I'm sorry I'm not putting as much actual regression stuff in as I probably should, I guess I'm just shoving as much exposition as I can to tiptoe around it haha. Still getting comfortable with my own regression. Hope you enjoy anyway!

The walk to the store was brief. Leaf made a loud _step step_ on the pavement, making sure to avoid all the cracks and lines. The breeze was gentle, and a bird was passing by overhead.

”Are you sure you wanna use your whole allowance?” He asked, looking up from the sidewalk at Logainne.

“Well, I mean, I think I want a few dollars left over, but I’ll always get more next week.” She said, tapping her chin in thought. 

Leaf scrunched his nose. He still felt a little guilty for hogging Logainne’s allowance, but he tried to allow himself this one treat, just this once.

They got to the building, stopping in front of the doors. Leaf hesitated, teetering on his feet. 

“Leaf?” Logainne checked in, holding out her hand. He sighed, but drew a large breath and headed inside, taking her hand.

The lights were almost blinding, but Leaf steadied himself as he continued to take deep breaths. Luckily the store wasn’t too busy, with a few shoppers crossing the aisles here and there.

Logainne took her shopping list out of her pocket and picked up a basket from a stack next to the doors. “Alright, let’s see what we have here.” She said as she led Leaf deeper into the store.

_Pacifiers_

_Sippy cups_

_Coloring books_

_Kids books_

_Crayons_

_Stuffies_

She listed each one aloud, scanning through the aisles. Leaf turned a bright red as he heard each item. _We’re really doing this,_ he thought to himself. 

“You okay?” Logainne checked in again. Leaf nodded, “Yeah, I got this.”

She smiled, then caught sight of what she was looking for. “Ah! Pacifiers!” She exclaimed, sprinting to the large selection down the aisle.

Leaf gaped as he followed along, feeling himself getting smaller. There were just so many designs and so many colors all at once. It was a little overwhelming. 

Then his eyes settled on a nice blue one with a whale on it. He picked it off the shelf and held it for a second, taking in its design. Then his eyes flitted to millions of others and hesitated, unsure if this was really the right choice.

“You can pick a couple more if you want.” Logainne suggested, sensing his indecision. 

“Really?” He looked up at her with a smile, and she nodded. He looked back to the shelves. “This one.” He pointed out and picked up a green one with a fox on it. “And this one.” He pointed to a yellow one with a duck on it, having to get on his tiptoes to get it down.

“Alright, now what’s next?” Logainne asked as Leaf put his pacifiers in the basket. They checked the list, _sippy cups._ Fortunately, a bin with the cups was right next to the pacifiers. 

Leaf moved over and started looking. He picked out a green one with dinosaurs on it, and a blue one with monsters on it, looking at Logainne for approval. She nodded, beckoning him over to put them in the basket.

As she looked at the contents of the basket, she took a mental note; _5 dollars left._

Reading the next item on the list, _coloring books,_ she knew she had to move to another section. They weaved through the shelves, then came across a selection of different kids and coloring books. 

Leaf looked around for a bit, stopping when his eyes settled on a coloring book about bugs. He smiled, picking it up and skimming through the pages. Satisfied, he held it in his arms.

“Do you wanna look for a kids book now?” Logainne asked, gesturing to the section next to it.

“Oh, right.” Leaf nodded, moving over and having a look there. He spied a book called _If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,_ which had a colorful drawing of a mouse and a cookie. He smiled even bigger and skimmed through its pages, giggling at the pictures. 

He seemed to be happy with that choice too, and was about to wander around some more, when he spotted another coloring book about sea creatures. 

He gasped, picking it up and looking at Logainne, who was biting her lip slightly. If she indulged him too much, there wouldn’t be any money left over.

“You can get both coloring books, but then I wouldn’t be able to read to you.” She stated, trying to compromise. 

Leaf sighed sadly, looking over his books. He put the coloring book with the sea creatures away, and held the others tight.

“Come on, let’s get some crayons.” Logainne turned around to the crayon and marker section, with a wide array of sizes and brands. Leaf looked around and picked up a 24 pack of crayolas. 

They looked at the last item on the list, _stuffies._ Logainne hummed, looking around. She led Leaf through the aisles again, trying to figure out where they’d be. 

Soon enough they came across a large bin filled to the brim with soft, plush animals. Leaf’s eyes lit up and his grin went from ear to ear. He rushed over to the bin, practically burying himself in it. 

It took a few minutes, but eventually he pulled out a cream colored cat stuffie. He hugged it tight, burying his face in its fur. 

Then he noticed another stuffie that fell to the floor; a round, light yellow bumble bee. He gasped, picking it up and brushing it off, making sure it was okay. 

He then realized he couldn’t possibly choose between these two precious angels, it just wasn’t fair. He looked at Logainne with the widest puppy eyes he could muster. 

She thought about it for a moment. Adding everything up in her head: _three pacifiers, two sippy cups, a coloring book, a kids book, a pack of crayons, that was eight dollars._ Getting one stuffie would be nine dollars, leaving one dollar over. 

She thought, what the hell, she’d use up her allowance. “Here, let’s get both of them.”

But Leaf had been doing the same thing, with a bit more effort nonetheless, and that pang of guilt came back. “Oh, no, but you said-”

“It’s fine, Leaf, one dollar won’t make a difference.”

He smiled, Logainne doing the same. “Or, you can get that second coloring book instead.” She suggested. 

Leaf shook his head. “I don’t want them to be lonely.” His speech was becoming slurred again. Logainne made a note of that. “Well, come on, let’s get checked out!”

They headed over to the checkout counter where a nice young lady was waiting to ring them up. Logainne put all the items onto the conveyor belt (even the stuffies, after coaxing Leaf a bit). 

The nice young lady rang it all up, and Logainne handed over her $10 bill with a smile. Leaf started tuning out, getting nervous on the lady’s reaction. _She’s gonna think it’s weird, she’s gonna be disgusted, she’s not gonna like me,_ was all he could think.

But none of that came to fruition. “Have a nice day!” She greeted warmly. She then looked at him, offering a smile and a small wave. He blushed a bright red and gave a smile in return, feeling himself regressing further. 

“Come on, let’s go.” Logainne held out her hand. Leaf took it and followed her out of the store, still slightly smiling. 

They held hands the entire walk home, which seemed even briefer. “Alright, now we just gotta sneak this past my moms.” She said as she turned her key into the lock.

She peeked into the living room, looking around for anybody that might be in the room. She motioned to Leaf to come in when the coast was clear. 

They rushed up the stairs as quietly as possible, which was a bit tricky, considering they were carrying a couple of bags AND they were trying to run as fast as they could. Leaf almost fell, but made it up the stairs to Logainne's room without a scratch.

"Logainne? You doing okay?" They heard Carla call out as soon as they shut the door.

"Uh, yeah, just went for a walk!" Logainne yelled back. 

They set the bags on the bed, and Leaf took a look through them. "Where are we gonna put all this stuff?" He asked, not wanting anyone else to find it.

Logainne's brows furrowed in thought. "I think I have a spare backpack somewhere." She went to her closet and started rummaging around, pulling out a small, pink, sparkly backpack. 

"I stopped using this when I realized I didn't want to conform to gender roles anymore. I hope you don't mind it being so girly."

Leaf just shook his head, grabbing onto it and holding it tight. "I love it." He smiled.

They spent the next few minutes figuring out which things to put in which pockets. When they were content, Logainne zipped the bag closed and put it back where it was in the closet. 

"Alright. Hopefully my moms won't go snooping through my stuff anytime soon." She laughed nervously.

Leaf nodded, then gasped. "It's our super secret little spot!" He exclaimed with a grin, holding out his pinky finger.

"Yeah! It's our super secret little spot." Logainne grinned back, locking her pinky finger with his.

“So I guess we’re keeping everything here then?” He asked, knowing that if he took anything home it would be found really quick by somebody, either his siblings or his parents, and he wanted anything BUT that to happen.

“I guess we should, huh.” She agreed, then hesitated. “But I still want you to have at least SOMETHING at home… Can you bring one of your stuffies?”

He sighed. It would still be suspicious, but maybe not AS bad as some of the other stuff. Big kids still had stuffed animals, right?

He nodded. “I wanna bring Kitty home.”

Logainne smiled, then her eyes widened in remembrance. “Oh! I know how you can bring one of your pacifiers home!” 

She turned back to her closet and started looking through the side shelves, reaching her arm to the back and pulling out an old looking box with a lock on it. 

She dusted it off and opened it, revealing it as a music box. She winded it, and a sweet lullaby started playing. “My grandmother gave this to me when I was a baby. I’ve never really found a use for it. You can lock your pacifier in here and no one would suspect a thing.”

Leaf’s jaw dropped, eyes wide. “Oh, no, Logainne, I couldn’t!”

“Yes, you can! It’ll have a better home with you, I promise.” She handed it to him with a smile. He took it and held it in his hands carefully, not wanting to break it.

“So, which one do you wanna take home?” She asked, bringing out the backpack and taking out the pacifiers, holding them out for him to pick. 

He thought about it for a moment, eventually pointing to the yellow one. “It’s my favorite color.” He commented with a smile.

“Alright.” Logainne took out the key in the bottom of the box, placed the pacifier in the box, and locked the box with the key, setting down the other two. She gave the key to Leaf and he put it into his pocket. “I won’t lose it, I promise.”

“I know.” Logainne hugged him tight. They stayed like that for a while. Then Leaf shifted. "Um, Logainne? I kinda wanna try some things."

"Oh, like you're new things? Or…"

He nodded shyly, turning his eyes downward. 

"Oh, well of course we can do that! What do you wanna try?" She asked as she turned to the backpack.

He thought about it for a bit. “Um, the coloring.”

“Alright, anything else?” She pulled out the coloring book and the crayons, then looked at him for a response. 

He started turning red again, still too nervous to state all of his feelings. “It’s okay, Leaf. You don’t have to be ashamed.”

He bit his lip. “And a pacifier.” He mumbled.

Logainne smiled in understanding. “Which one?”

“The green one!” He exclaimed. “It’s like your hair!” He pointed to her pigtails.

“Yeah, it’s like my hair!” She giggled as she gave him the pacifier. He took the cover off and popped it in his mouth. It felt a little weird at first, but soon he found it comforting. It was kind of like chewing gum, except he couldn’t have gum since he swallowed it too often.

“Now I don’t want you sucking on that for too long. I read that they’re bad for your teeth.” Logainne stated as she set up the coloring book and the crayons. 

They sat down on the floor, Leaf opening the book to a picture with beetle. He looked through the crayons carefully, selecting a baby blue one and a hot pink one, then got to coloring.

“Can I color with you?” Logainne asked. Leaf nodded with a smile, handing her the crayons. 

They spent the rest of the afternoon filling up the coloring pages, enjoying each other’s company. Leaf smiled to himself. It was the happiest he’d been in a long time.


	4. R-u-l-e-s

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, uh, hi? Sorry for that short hiatus haha, life kinda happened and I fell off track for a bit. But I'm back now! And with all this extra time due to all this quarantine shtuff, hopefully I'll be able to get back to a semi regular upload schedule. Hope you enjoy!

Logainne and Leaf’s arrangement had been going on for several weeks. Leaf would come over whenever he could, they’d drag the backpack out of the closet, and then they’d settle down and spend some quality down time together. Whether it be coloring (Leaf loved coloring), watching kids’ TV, or playing pretend, they always found something to do together.

Leaf was very energetic when he was in littlespace. That is to say, ten times more than he was normally. He was extremely curious, and was always asking questions. He was very clingy as well, and didn’t like to be alone for very long.

Logainne, fortunately, was accommodating in all aspects when taking care of him. She was always able to answer his questions, even when she didn’t know the answers, and never left him alone for more than a couple of minutes. 

It was even better when her moms weren’t home, cause then they could use the whole house and she could make him little snacks and meals.

Logainne let out a sigh as she continued her homework. She was almost done, but she also needed to finish that research paper she made up for her moms (who wanted to see it, so unfortunately she had to deliver).

That’s when she heard a familiar knock on the door. She smiled and rushed to it, almost being tackled to the ground by Leaf as she welcomed him in.

“HI!” He giggled loudly, trying not to lose his balance. “Hey there kiddo! How’ve you been?” Logainne asked, steadying him.

“Been good!” He grinned, then leaned in and whispered in her ear, “‘M really small.” He continued giggling, scrunching up in a shy stance.

“Oh, you’re really small, huh?” Logainne repeated attentively. Leaf nodded, keeping that full tooth grin. “How small?” She questioned, bending down to his level. 

He thought about it for a minute, holding up two fingers in a shrug as he scrunched up even more. They giggled to themselves, Logainne grabbing onto his hands. 

“Well, we’ll just have to do something about that, won’t we?” She stated as she led them to her bedroom, being careful as to not bother her moms.

They closed the door, and immediately Leaf went over to the closet and pulled out the backpack.   
He rummaged through it, pulling out Bee, his green pacifier, his blue sippy cup, and his coloring book and crayons. He popped the pacifier in his mouth and hummed with content.

Logainne smiled, sitting down next to him and helping set everything up. “You want me to fill this up?” She asked, pointing to his sippy cup. He nodded enthusiastically. “Milk!”

“Okay.” She stood up and headed for the door, but stopped as she heard whining behind her. She turned around to see Leaf making grabby hands, with the biggest puppy eyes possible.

“Oh, Leaf, I gotta go to the kitchen if I’m gonna get some milk for you!” She bent over to him and picked him up. “No! No leave!” He shook his head, grabbing on to her tight. She sighed. “Do you wanna come with me?” 

He nodded hesitantly, hiding in the crook of her neck. “Alright, but you gotta leave your paci here, bud.” She said. He whined in response. “Come on, you gotta give up something bee.” She cooed, putting him down.

He shuffled over to his spot, putting his pacifier with his crayons. “Good job.” Logainne praised, holding out her hand. He took it, following her downstairs. 

They got to the kitchen, and she took out two cups and filled them with milk, looking around to see if her moms were near. She then grabbed some vanilla extract from the cabinet and put a few drops in both of their cups. 

“Can you hold this?” She held out one of the cups to Leaf after putting the vanilla away. He took it carefully, holding on tight with two hands, nodding with determination. 

They headed back upstairs, being stopped by Carla mom. Leaf’s anxiety spiked, trying hard not to let on that he was in his headspace.

“Hey, have you finished your homework?” She asked sternly

“Yep!” Logainne exclaimed, quickly pulling Leaf behind her.

She closed the door behind them, helping Leaf get settled back into his spot. She took his cup and poured the milk into his sippy cup, setting her own cup out of the way. 

He drank happily, smiling up at her. She smiled back, taking his hand. “Now don’t drink that too fast, I don’t want you getting a tummy ache.”

When he was done, he put his pacifier back in his mouth and opened his coloring book. Logainne’s brows furrowed. She grabbed his sippy cup, opening it and checking inside, finding it empty. “Leaf! I told you not to drink too fast!”  
“Sorry!” He giggled. She sighed, taking her own cup and pouring it into the sippy cup. Leaf gasped. “Oh, no, Lo-” 

“It’s fine Leaf, don’t worry. But don’t drink it all at once this time!” She scolded, setting the cup down beside him.

He smiled mischievously, going back to his coloring book. He settled on a page with beetles, picked out a few colors, and got to work. 

Logainne watched him as he started out inside the lines, but as time went on became more messy. She smiled, then started to think for a bit, letting her thoughts drift away. 

From what she had researched, a lot of littles had set up sets of rules with their caregivers. This was to help set boundaries and give the littles a sense of structure to help them take care of themselves, and help their caregivers take care of them. 

This would probably be beneficial for Leaf, she thought to herself. He was quite forgetful, and not very good at keeping a routine.

“Hey, Leaf?” She started, getting his attention. He turned to her, tilting his head curiously. “So, I’ve been reading some more, and I think it would be good to set some rules. Just so I can take care of you easier, if you’re okay with it, of course.”

He processed what she said, then nodded. “Could be fun!” He exclaimed, taking his pacifier out of his mouth.

“Yeah, let’s make it fun!” She asserted, getting up and grabbing her notebook. She flipped to an empty page and started scribbling down ideas.

“Now, I think we should get the essentials out of the way. Drink eight cups of water a day, eat three meals a day, brush your teeth two times a day, and so on and so forth…”

She continued listing off her ideas, her speech turning into rambling. Leaf tried to keep up, but soon he started to mentally tap out, the dissociation soon kicking in.

Logainne’s rambling faded as she noticed the empty look in Leaf’s eyes. “Sorry, I’m probably going too fast for you, huh bud.”

Leaf’s attention snapped back to reality. “Hmm?”

She sighed, smiling fondly. “What do you think about eight cups of water and three meals a day, hmm?”

Leaf thought about it, biting his lip. Logainne noticed, remembering how hard it was to get him to eat sometimes. He was a small boy, and there wasn’t a lot of meat on his bones. “What about seven cups and two meals a day?”

Leaf was a lot more receptive to that, nodding his head. Logainne smiled, jotting those two points down. “Okay, who about brushing teeth twice a day?”

He nodded, although knowing that one would be hard to keep up. She wrote that down as a point too. “What about bedtime? What do you think would be a good time?”

Leaf thought about it, then smiled mischievously. “What about, no bedtime?”

“No.” She scolded gently. “Come on bud, you have to go to bed at sometime. What about 8?”

He shook his head. “10!”

She sighed. “Okay, okay, we’ll compromise. How about 9? Please?” 

He hesitated, but eventually nodded his head. Logainne sighed with relief. “Thank you.”

They continued building their list, agreeing on most things, having to compromise on some, but in the end reaching a solid ten rules. 

“Alright, let’s go over everything.” Logainne’s eyes skimmed over the list. 

_Seven cups of water a day_

_Two meals a day_

_Brush teeth twice a day_

_Bedtime at 9_

_Take a shower every other day_

_Clean room every Saturday_

_Take medication every day_

_Do classwork every day_

_15 minutes outside every day_

_Tell Logainne everything that’s wrong_

“Now this last one is very important!” Logainne pointed out. “I wanna make sure we communicate with each other. If there’s anything, and I mean ANYTHING you need to tell me, you gotta do it, okay bub?”

Leaf nodded, looking at all those big words, but not entirely processing them all. But he understood the gist of it. He just had to take care of himself; something that was a lot harder than either of them would anticipate.

Logainne hummed in thought. “Now, we should have some rewards set in place, you know, positive reinforcement and all. I was thinking about a point-based system, how does that sound?”

Leaf tilted his head in confusion. “Huh?”

She smiled. “When you do something good, you get a point, or a few points. All those points will add up to get you a reward! Is that better?”

His brows furrowed. “Kinda?”

“Here, let me give you an example. If you brush your teeth, you’ll get a point. Once you get, let’s say, five points, you’ll get a reward, like a cookie or some new crayons.” She explained, making sure to go slow enough for him.

He thought about it, letting himself process all the words. “So, points make cookies?”

“Yes! Or candy, or crayons, or whatever you want!” She exclaimed, happy to be getting through to him.

He smiled, the words finally clicking for him. “K, so how many points for no bedtime?”

She laughed. “Come on, you know I can’t do that kiddo! How about ten points for a later bedtime?”

He gasped. “Ten?! That’s a lot…”

“We’ll work it out.” She reassured.

They spent the next half hour discussing point worth and rewards, and updated their list to fit as such:

_Seven cups of water a day = 1 point_

_Two meals a day = 1 point_

_Take medication every day = 1 point_

_Brush teeth twice a day = 2 points_

_Bedtime at 9 = 2 points_

_Take a shower every other day = 3 points_

_Clean room every Saturday = 3 points_

_Do classwork every day = 4 points_

_15 minutes outside every day = 4 points_

_Tell Logainne everything that’s wrong = 5 points_

_5 points = Extra sweets_

_10 points = Later bedtime_

_20 points = More technology_

_50 points = New crayons_

_100 points = New stuffie_

They looked through the list a few more times, before deciding they were finally satisfied. 

Then Leaf realized something. “What if, what if I do something wrong?”

Logainne hesitated. Right, punishments, those were a thing. “Let’s, let’s not talk about that right now. We’ll figure it out later, when you’re a bit bigger, okay?”

He nodded, figuring that was a lot better. He really wanted to get back to his coloring anyway.

She sighed with relief. They’d have to discuss it sooner or later, but right now just wasn’t a good time. She didn’t want to bring down his mood, she wanted him to be as relaxed and comfortable as possible. Besides, they did enough work and thinking for one day.

She then turned to see what he was coloring. There was a big, mean-looking beetle that he was coloring a bright red, and a smaller beetle he had colored blue. “That’s so good Leaf!”

“Thanks!” He said, putting his pacifier back in his mouth. 

Watching him methodically go over the paper with his crayons was almost hypnotizing. She could feel herself drifting off, as she hadn’t been getting much sleep as of late. She then perked up when Leaf got her attention. “Logainne?”

“Hmm?” He eyes widened, trying to get herself to stay awake

“What should I call you?” He asked. “I mean, you call me all this cute stuff, so what should I call you? Cause Mama would be kinda weird…”

“Yeah, that would be a little funny huh.” She agreed, tapping her chin in thought. “Well, my name shortened would be Lo, that might be cute.”

“Lo? LoLo!” He exclaimed, trying it out, and it seemed to fit. They giggled, then Leaf finished up the little coloring he had left, signing it to her and tearing it out, giving it to her. _For LoLo!_

She smiled, heart melting. “Come here.” She said, pulling him into a cuddle. They stayed in silence like that for a while, enjoying each other's company. Leaf listened to her steady heartbeat, eyes fluttering closed.

“Love you, LoLo.”

“Love you too, honeybee.”

**Author's Note:**

> Woo, first chapter! I feel like this can serve well on it's own as a oneshot, but I do have some ideas on how to expand it. What do you guys think? Please let me know in the comments, it really helps!


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